Concerned for Others or Really for Myself??

"Then Saul's anger was kindled against Jonathan, and he said unto him ... do not I know that thou hast chosen the son of Jesse to thine own confusion, and unto the confusion of thy mother's nakedness?  For as long as the son of Jesse liveth upon the ground, thou shalt not be established, nor thy kingdom. Wherefore now send and fetch him unto me, for he shall surely die.  And Jonathan answered Saul his father, and said unto him, Wherefore shall he be slain? what hath he done?  And Saul cast a javelin at him to smite him: whereby Jonathan knew that it was determined of his father to slay David."

I Samuel 20:30-33

At first, it seems that Saul is upset at Jonathan's friendship with David because he believes that his son Jonathan won't have the political advantage if David is allowed to live; however, Saul quickly proves that he's not really concerned for Jonathan, because in a fit of rage, Saul tries to kill his own son.

So, for whom is Saul truly concerned?  That's easy - for himself.  Deep down, Saul wasn't concerned primarily for Jonathan's ascension to the throne.  Primarily, Saul wanted to protect his pride.  He wanted David dead, because he saw that God blessed David and stopped blessing Saul.

Every time I read the story of Saul and David, I ask myself, "How different would Saul's life have been if he had stepped down from the throne when God told him, through Samuel, that he was done being king due to rebellion?"  I imagine that Saul's life would have been much different, and better, and longer.

Instead of continuing to fight against God's decree, Saul could have said, "I repent and hand over the throne to God's man."  Why didn't he do that?  Pride.  He couldn't bear to swallow his pride, step down, and let someone more qualified step up for the job.  Instead, he fought against God, fought against David, ruined his family life, and in the end, lost his own life along with those of his sons.

How many leaders, both in the secular and religious realms, would be better off if they simply stepped down because they were no longer qualified instead of hanging on to a career that has been ruined by sin?

How many pastors have disqualified themselves due to sins of the flesh or spirit, but they are still hanging onto their position, pretending that the problem is with anyone but them?

Saul's biggest problem was his pride.  It corrupted him, ate away at him, and in the end, destroyed him.  "He that being often reproved hardeneth his neck shall be suddenly destroyed, and that without remedy."

I do not want to be like Saul.